Wednesday, 3 August 2016

You are Beautiful: Today, Tomorrow and Forever!!


It hit me hard , REAL hard !.
It took me ONE-FULL-WEEK- to come out of the shock!!.
It was a strange realisation. 
Of course, I knew I wouldn't always be young, pretty and beautiful(ah!, I wish!).

I knew, there would be a day when my first fine line would appear, and then someday , I would have a rugged face.I knew , like we all know that one fine day we would come across our first grey hair and then a deluge of them. But we never are prepared for it, we never can be.I was not, so when I was told by a complete stranger, who has just moved to the neighborhood, that my face looked dull with fine lines I was shocked , angry and frustrated to say the least. I just could not believe that someone actually said that and most of all I found it so hard to digest  that I have arrived at "that stage" of my life. So,to feel better I did what I do best , share my troubled thoughts with anybody who has ears , which is everybody and talk till they acquiesce that I was wronged. 

I started looking for reassurance from every possible quarter and I am really blessed that all my loved ones did assure me that I am as pretty as always. My father assured me that his little princess is still the most beautiful child and my son assured me that I am the most beautiful and loving mum. They in fact went a degree further to extol how beautiful I have grown with these passing years. (I really must have been quite furious, that`s the only explanation for these plain white lies that my family and friends had to speak to save their skin. Oh God, bless these all innocent and fearful liars in my life. I love them and their beautiful lies).

However, it was my husband who helped me to decipher the hidden meaning of those lines making their first appearances (and, it was not that I should start going to the beauty parlour a bit more frequently). It was he who helped me to organise my stirred emotions of age,beauty and life.

Seven days had passed since my first encounter with the new next door neighbor who so vociferously had told me about my visage. It was Saturday evening and I answered the doorbell to welcome home my dear husband but little did I know that I was to be greeted by a sweet surprise of a bouquet of my favorite flower, orchids. Later just the two of us went out for dinner; we talked about all the usual stuff and later that night he gave me a gift which opened another surprise of that day and of my life.

It was the same diary that he had given me 15 years ago, when we were in college, still young to look at, and just realised we were madly in love. He gave it to me on the first birthday that we had celebrated together and that I had later gifted back to him on one of his birthdays, but with a few changes. 

He had gifted me a diary with blank pages but I had filled those pages. On the first page of the diary, I had made a pencil sketch of a embracing couple to enshrine our first warm embrace, a spiritual moment of our life that I had tried to reiterate in my own style, the warmth of which is still fresh in my memory and its radiance still brings a glow to my face. I am no painter or artist but I learned to draw sketches especially to gift that hand-drawn special moment of our life to my life. 
On the following pages, I had assembled his poetic dedications, that he has written for me, surprised and amazed me with, in all the major and minor days of our life so far. Those were the words and feelings of my guardian angel that have satiated as well as aroused my desire to be loved. His poems reflected all the myriad hues of emotions that we went through, each of them has added a new meaning, a new hue, to my other-wise black and white life. They are insignia of the immortal love we share.

So,when I saw the diary, I grew nostalgic and as I flipped, each page unfurled those melodies, those emotions, those lovely moments of life when I had known I am no longer alone, I have mountain-like strong arms to hold me and a love-filled bosom to keep my head, fears and worries. Each page of the diary was like a flower that was spreading its unique fragrance in the garden of life of two love birds, now too busy in their daily life and responsibilities. 

As we were flipping the pages lovingly reliving those melodies I noticed that the pages of the diary had grown yellow and brownish, my drawing and writing too has become a part of the pages rather than something on the pages. Wistfully I looked at him and like always he read my heart and mind and spoke my words “yes, sweetheart the pages have become yellow, they no longer are fresh”.

When he thought that I had over-come the cruelty of time bestowed on our diary, he kissed me gently and added “and that`s the beauty of this diary, of these pages and of this dried rose", a pressed dried rose rested in the dairy from the bouquet he gave me on our first valentine`s day .

He lovingly added , "The drawing and these poems, today convey more than what they conveyed 15 years ago. They have become a testimony of our love that has been our strength in all the seasons of life. It's the harbor to which I safely return from the furious waves of life".

He brought me closer to himself and continued, "The things that can stand the test of time , like our relation, like our dairy , like YOU only become stronger and more beautiful with each passing day, and to me you look more beautiful today than the first day we met, I know exactly how your face will light up when I would say , I have grown more handsome too".

I looked at him pointing to his receding hairline and we both broke into laughter.

He kissed me softly on all my fines lines and spoke with so much reverence and sincerity in his voice and eyes ,which reminded me of why I fell in love with him in the first place,

“I love you more than I could ever say, thanks for bearing me and being with me , thanks for showering the love that I thought ,was non-existent, the love I thought I never deserved. You really have grown more beautiful in all these years. My life has grown beautiful because you have spread yours in it. These lines are the evidence of our shared laughter, a life that is happy and blessed just the way I am due to your presence.You are beautiful , today, tomorrow and forever ”.

And I slept peacefully in his arms, knowing that even when the whole world sees a wrinkled, old and rugged face, I will still be the loveliest, most beautiful and prettiest woman on earth for him.

 After all a woman is beautiful only when she is loved and I am loved beyond words!!.





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